Inside Zzorhn's Mind

 A man imprisoned, laments to his kin Please, I beg you, get me from within! Your chores are many, this much I know I beseech you, I pray you, your love to me show. I'm innocent, I swear, of the lies told to thee "Not guilty" he cried, come rescue me! Each day that I rot behind these cold bars Is an affront, an insult, of which has no par. His family with shame, turned their proud head "I'm sorry", they stammered, with voices of dread "I cannot, I will not, release thee from hell" "My life is too busy", they falsely did tell. In anguish and torment, he turned to his friends Knowing, in pain, two, their truth did they bend The very dark reasons for all of his pain Through lies and deceit, so much did they gain Help me, oh help me, I need you he'd cry But to his chagrin, they turned a blind eye I don't understand your reluctance, you see Why won't you, he asked, Please! Come help me! As was his family, those he loved best Ignore

 Life in the ghetto, London, Ontario. Pretty on the surface, but here's the scenario Diversity at its finest, a true pinnacle of lies Families live in fear, the truth always dies Reality is dangerous. The tyranny betrays us Everyone's “Sus”. No good deed goes unpunished,  Guilt by association like birds of a feather Leaves children forever tarnished No money, no food, no manners, no morals Children raising children like Lord of the Flies Violence and damage, which they place their laurels Parents are too busy doing nothing. No help from home. No one tries Cell phones, tablets, TV's, and games on the net It's a brain drain, but don't sweat or fret While our kids have the attention span of a goldfish, there's DRUGS Free drugs for everyone! No need for hugs We're drugging the kids, while the schools are indoctrinating Sex Ed starts in Kindergarten. Groom them while they're young, don't be hating You can be anything you want – A rainbow coloured unicorn.

 The soul screams as the shock jolts you Feeling like you can't breathe you drop to the floor Comfort through its hardness, physical pain feels good It hurts to cry any more Dark thoughts knock the brain asunder You can't admit your world will never be the same The minutes feel like hours as you wonder Where? What? And who's to blame?  Like a bad dream you can't wake up from Demons laugh and dance for joy at the corner of your eyes  Feeding on your anguish and nagging brain fog, and your tortured soul. All hope dies  Each day is a lie, nothing brings joy Forced to change, the familiar hurts too much In an attempt to numb the inner spirit Drugs and booze become a crutch        The part that hurts the absolute most  Is knowing that your life, and kids has changed Even if you chance to ever get your kids back Your world is always deranged        There are two paths if you lose your kids Even though the details are painfully scant The first choice means you give up on your

"  An artist needs to experience trial and tribulation in order to render their soul capable to inspire the rare and delicate fantasies that exist within the vibrant cord of the heart. It is only through such persecution that the exquisite melodrama and strength of character are realized. For without struggle, without hardship, and without pain, an artist cannot express them self and truly relate to others." - Zzorhn Carlson, July 2012 I'm not a staunch Conservative, nor am I a die-hard Liberal. I am Canadian born and raised, so I grew up as a socialist. I know that Canada and the United States of America do NOT have a honest democracy. I feel compelled to try and rectify the propaganda and rhetoric produces by the “Legacy media” in North America. - Zzorhn Carlson, July 2023   There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves - Will Rogers "My heart is my A

A big shout out to all my Zzorhnamaniacs! It's been since 2006. That was when I wrote my first blog. Since then, I've had over a 100000 page views by different people. I've kept it online diary, which was one of the big features. However, from jello shooter recipes to my personal thoughts, people have been viewing my videos and my pictures and reading the material that I produce on a near daily basis. So where is it? Where's all the stuff that I've done? It's a long story however if I was to break it down quickly, It's because of a vengeful, manipulative woman who sought to purposely destroy everything I have done.  My website was just one thing she destroyed. This individual decided to take down my accounts. Which means I couldn't even get my emails no more. She used my Accounts to sell all my belongings and then shut it down. I feel like i've been robbed. No, raped. I feel like I've been raped... .... But the London police are not in any hurry

 Saturday in Prison.  Purgatory indeed! No lawyers, no visits, no court. No need!  Here we sit, watching TV.  Some read Rerun after rerun - book after book Each man sits in his designated nook. The brain withers while the body rots. Meanwhile my stomach is tied up in knots Our cells get cleaned, we make our cots. Then...... nothing. Nothing to do but time.  And time? Time is all we can do.?.. Saturday in Prison  - Purgatory indeed! 

 The struggle of a cellmate Is a real endeavor  What's okay one day Is frustrating to another  From snores to canteen orders Cleanliness and eating  Making beds or washing up Can wind you up a beating  Two grown men, e'ery day In a concrete cell  Always tripping o'er each other  In their personal Hell The trick in such a situation  Isn't bullshit or bluff Many inmates beaten up Can qualify as tough Keep your head down,  don't talk shit And hope your "Celly"s cool Treat them good,  don't run your mouth Or you'll wind up the fool!!

 Bullshit! Absolute f--king bull! Lawyer's lined up, and housings so... But! Assuring is a f--king no. Why? Red-tape, braindead, bureaucratic crap! Leving human beings ready to snap. Innocence,  justice,  human rights?? F--k! It's so wrong, my cock they can suck! Another day having to spend in this hell It's sad that I know "corrections" so well. Lock behind bars for shit I didn't do Pigs dressed up in their garbage blue It's so corrupt! But I can't sue Guilty till innocent! What a crock of shit! Canada's "justice" really makes me sick Tammy the whore living in my house When it comes to parasites she's worse than a louse.  At least with vermin,  ticks, and lice- Rats and bat's, wild dogs or mice - They're expected to be harmfully based Tammy and kin are excessively two-faced Nice one day, the next a lie Creating a toxic situation by- Narcissistic self indulgence Then playing the victim in all It's sense. It's wrong! An

 With drool slowly dripping from his massive jowls, mixing with blood from the deep claw marks across his nose, the once mighty male lion limped from the series of pain wracking his body.  Once mighty.... Once. No longer.  His body is broken, and his strength is sapped. His spirit is as battered as his body, and there are scars within that will never heal. While the adrenaline pushes him forward, the blood loss will hit him as hard as the shock will once the raw adrenaline wears off. His ribs are not the only bones broken. Given time these wounds will heal. He doesn't have time.  Age caught up to him, and took a very proud male only to reduce it to dust, as is the nature of things. From the Earth we are created, and once the soul departs the body then the Earth reclaims the body. Even the mightiest lion, or any other apex predator is no different than the meekest of the smallest creatures. For such is the way of things. From dust we are born, and to dust we return when we die. Age

 The laughs, the swears. Like no one cares One's got bail, the others rail. It's like a f****** zoo. Chest thumps, doors rattle, the floor bangs without a clue. Machismo oozes stronger than the coffee tastes In the end it's all a waste..... In this place without a case.... "Cool" is the rule......... At the strictest school.

 The "Truth", the whole "Truth", and nothing but the "Truth"! In a court of "law", the truth is but aloof. Canadian courts are nothing but a sham. Especially if you're unfortunate to find yourself a man "Correctional" facilities have nothing for correction Just like "justice of the peace" is only an infection- Of lies!! And therefore nothing but corrupt. From lawyers to the pigs, the sexism erupts, George Orwell's "Big Brother" from 1984 Foretold of a society that would be more- Akin to dystopian. It's called "double think" Where holding two ideals, a lie, it really does stink! It's wrong, it's immoral and needing to stop. But now it's embedded, right from the top. The "truth"? Not in canada! Not anymore! Just go on and ask herself.... T#&&y the whore...

 Here I sit, waiting for my name To be called for court  A bail hearing today, but most likely  Nothing of the sort. The "Crown " and the judge know full well The purgatory state of jail.  My lawyer and I  will fight them both But will most likely fail Justice is blind, but in Canada it's corrupt.  It's sexist against the men. Grant me, oh Lord!  My Justice I cry! From this prison send I try not to excite! Knowing the "Might" Of the corruption they call "Corrections" The "Crown" knows thus, banking on such. Claiming it's civil "Protection " But!! I'm the victim!, not she, The bitch that sought to see, On lies and manipulation locked away.  I'll have my say, but! Not today  And here I'll remain.... in jail NB: Due to bullshit I was put off until the next day. See?!

 Today is just another day THAT'S a lie, because I may- Get out of jail. Chances are stacked against me Lawyer won't show, judge says no, plan completely falls apart. But i'm not scared- that's a lie, cause i'm unprepared-  To get out of jail.  My chest is tight. My head feels light but I don't care. That's a lie since I don't fare- Very well in jail. Shoulders back, my chest puffed out. And I'm not gonna cry. That's a lie, cause I don't know why- Why!? I'm still in jail! I'm a man: strong as steel, baptized in fire- Down to the wire,  I proudly make my bed! That's a lie, mom, cause i'm still a child- Deep inside my head. But....... .... I can't show it, let them know that, Living these lies makes me wish I was dead. Oops! I just lied again. I need to get out of jail! Oh, look!  I just told the truth. 

 The "Justice of Peace " is the biggest of hoax No peace and no Justice does that b**** invoke! The gutache is par with the pain in my heart No food and the state of innocence is to start The "Crown" can go suck a big bag of dicks She's sexist and brain dead and therefore is sick- Of corruption! That twat thus looks down her nose. At Men, And therefore is dangerous, a threat does she pose. The biggest of lies is the "correction" facility Where prisoners are kept at the barest abilities. To learn! Oh, the irony! It's all a big lie! This is the place where hope goes to die. The hunger and pain is not just lack of food. It's Justice and truth where none does exude. The whole "Justice system" is completely corrupt. Police, the "Crown " and the judge, my ass they can SUCK!!

 Another sleepless night Another chance to make things right? NAY! For the Justice is flawed! And the law? Tis but a wad- Of lies and the ilk of sexist pigs. Sexist? Aye! For they only see the man. Never the woman, it's bad! It's sad! Sad indeed! But! I am glad. Glad! For I found God  In the bowels of criminals, the very bottom- I found God. Praise be to He who forgives all! I feel small, yet have the gall- To be one of the chosen people. To have found church with no steeple But, a cell door for want of a church. Or a mosque.  As I lurch- Like a boss, as I search- For forgiveness,  for crimes I did not do To sleep! Oh! Perchance to dream!  Of a time when I am free Oh Lord!  Let me be- And see- Freedom!! Perhaps then is when I can sleep

Stillness, yet in the dark I can hear the clink of keys, The tinkle of a much too loud telephone The footsteps of booted feet as the guard tries to see To peer into the dark depths of my prison cell It's his duty, nay! His personal conviction to ensure That the prison holding my body and soul are well For what purpose I do not know, but to endure. One more night in a place where hope goes to die. I cannot sleep for the Prison guards talk too loud And laugh! At countless jokes at our expense. The thud of doors, the relentless snores, yet too proud- I lie awake. for even stripped of my pride I am too dense! To the Hells that lay with me though the quiet is too loud The insistent nag on my heart be my own making, and yet I'm not here of my own accord, but the telling of lies. LIES!! Thou hast accosted me great pains, yet here I lie Abandon all hope ye who enter here, for between the stress The mess and the unrest, the dirt, grime and blood. The noise, the boy's, just crooning

 Not knowing is the hardest part Time is easy- day after day- The same; noise, routine, and med cart. Threats and violence, lockdown and raids For here real criminals are made. Jail Black and white are clearly defined, A racial divide, though justice is blind It's all a big lie,-The Crown, Justice of peace. The truth they doht seek, but lives they lease - Locking people behind bars, concrete, and steel. In truth, nothing is real. Jail Gourmet meals, but nothing to eat. Is it pork, chicken, beef? Or just mystery meat? We eat beside the shitter, which of course, smell The dirt and the grime, an unspoken crime; dwell. From slops, sauces, gravy's, who can tell? Jail Metal tables, metal crapper, concrete walls- From farts, p*** and s***,-nature calls. It's overcrowded, but no one cares! Tears at the heart strings, on the soul it wears Jail

 " You're under arrest" I heard her cry Even though the reasons were wrong! Cops throw me in a place where hope goes to die. No help from home makes days long! If heaven and hell sport a place of limbo Made of concrete steel and bar In earnest? Did I search, for even a symbol Where tattoos and tattered hearts have no par In a world of bright orange, there's no black or white And garbage for shoes that fall off your feet Prison politics at play where nothing is right Men like zombies do meet " Reg or PC?" Did the warden thus ask The choice of which is a matter of pride To be accepted in a community of criminals, a task! Where no speaking the truth did he slide Teaching each other the tools of the trade No whistling just one of the rules On dirt and crusted floors,  better criminals are made No talk of details in the land of the fools Each day is the same, as time lingers on 'Cept for canteen,  Those that can afford The price! In a place where phones cost

 Of all the things I miss the most- Is my dog.. Not knowing kills me! Is he fed? A soft bed? As I coast  Through time behind bars I can see How unfair it is to him The bitch, nay! Not the dog, But the twat that put me here - Holds everything I call dear- In her twisted hands. How unfair, Is it to bear the unknown!? My computer, guitars, and Amp Are all caught in the crossfire of her lies! To think, no! To struggle against all odds- Of the horrors that dwell within, buys- But one more day without my dog I miss him so! God only knows, why- The pigs believed their lies. Oh! Because I have the penis......

 BANG, BANG! BANG!! Upon the cell door I scramble from my wrist to see more At first there's no response from the guards But! One, then two stride across the yard Then the sergeant arrives,  Nay! But two! What to do? It's a zoo of the downtrodden and waste- Of humanity. The response? They haul out the cell mates  Make for the segregation cell and wait For the sergeant. Who has the last call Is it a weekend in the hole? Another stall? Then the call, " Fuck you" is heard - Uttered by the rat in frustration at the word - He is to endure the harsh reality awaiting him We all clamor to see more. Is that a war? A fight? There's only speculation, but with all his might The top brass leads the prisoner away E'en The man still screams. Nay! Yells at the correction officers deciding his fate At the gate, to await a prison within a prison The show is over as quickly as it started With only a blanket and some canteen is carted A way to another place within the prison Yet!

 Saw nothing, heard nothing, but in truth - I saw all and heard everything.  Yet! I keep my head down and lie - To the guards and to self, knowing why, For the truth is folly in the P.C. wing

The Fight broke out in the blink of an eye. Two combatants in the prison bathroom. "Don't look! ", I cry, knowing the reason why... ...It's  lock down for the rest of us, doomed - As the guard rush in to establish order Inmates look on as the lieutenant questions The camera never lies, but he still wants to know. "Why?" What on Earth causes a fight in the stall - Of a bathroom, with blow after blow - Sending one to seg and the other to infirmary?  Is the rest shouted out in frustration and thus; Create a hostile and noisy din Rising above all. With no fuss or muss They are ushered out, so who's to win? A fight in a prison within a prison?

  A diary is a written or audiovisual record with discrete entries arranged by date reporting on what has happened over the course of a day or other period. I have been attacked online, "Hacked" for a better word. This was done by a bitter, manipulative, pitiful excuse for a human being. She destroyed everything of mine she could, and sold everything else. So much loss! My attempts to get intellectual property back have proven unsuccessful to date. There's still no word from the property manager either to get into the apartment.  July 14. 2023 Good morning, Dear Diary. The weather is unsettled and windy.  All my attempts to get my old blog back are mind numbingly frustrating. This is a major reason for my depression.  No justice... No peace in my heart. I've lost the three "Bell" children,  now all my stuff (Thousands and thousands of dollars) and last week my mom died.  This new blog is my attempt at normalcy.  I hope it works. July 15. Saturday Good aftern